Why Do Women Become Involved In Priority Crimes?
In my work as a Truth Verification Specialist, (I utilise Forensic Voice Stress Analysis), I became very interested as to why women become involved in priority crimes. A priority crime is an act which should result in an arrest, such burglary, robbery, hijacking etc. It is not unusual for women to shoplift, however the other crimes mentioned carry a sense of violence, and we expect men, not women, to be the culprits in such acts.
Often, I have worked on cases where a burglary or robbery has occurred either in a residential or business premises, and if a woman failed her test, I would begin asking questions about her personal life. I also worked on several cases where jewellery had been stolen from a residential home, and no break-in had occurred. Only the family and the Domestic Worker should have had access to the valuables. Mostly, the Domestic Worker was a much-loved part of the family, lived on the property and was not under suspicion. However, someone close to her could not be trusted.
What I found is that most women will commit a priority crime at the behest of a male close to her, usually either a son or an intimate partner. The characteristics of these males would be as follows:
- Her son would have no strong father figure in his life. He would have a spotty school attendance record,low marks,some substance abuse,associated with others as lost as him,and his mother would display co-dependency tendencies in this chaotic relationship with her child.
He would mentally (and sometimes) physically abuse her, and at other times be sweet and kind.This swinging between the two attitudes is known as approval-disapproval cycle,which is extremely addictive. He would often be between the ages of 14 to 24
- Her romantic partner would either be her husband or her intimate partner. He would have a spotty work history ,making her the main breadwinner,some substance abuse usually alcohol or dagga. If such a man uses “heavier” substances,the woman would most likely join him in using such substance, rendering her unemployable.
He would also employ the approval- disapproval cycle to keep her glued to him mentally,emotionally and spiritually.She is literally unable to walk away.
Ever wondered why women, who are well groomed, well spoken, hard workers, kind, caring, compassionate and intelligent stay with men who abuse them? Here is the answer.
As mentioned, all the women who presented themselves for a Truth Verification Examination when priority crime had occurred, had attributes that would make one think that they had their heads together, and would not stay in a situation that is detrimental to their mental health of physical safety.
In my research, I found, amongst others, two phenomenons, namely Love Addiction and Sex Addiction. Neither one of those adequately described these ladies. The answer lay within the Trauma Bonded or the Betrayal Bonded Relationships. In these relationships, there is always an abuser and a victim. This can occur in straight relationships, gay relationships, and parent-child relationships. Either partner can be the abuser or victim.and in parent-child relationships either party can be the abuser. A definite pattern exists in these relationships which ties in with approval-disapproval cycle.
The cycle is as follows:
– Love Bombing. Also known as the honey moon period. During this phase a lot of mirroring occurs.The son will watch a romantic movie on TV with his mother,the intimate partner will love dogs as much as she does, and will not become impatient as she shops for hours on end. The abuser will figuratively drizzle golden drops of love and approval on his victim by excessive praise.
– Devalue. This can be overt or covert, but the criticism and disapproval cannot be mistaken,dropping the victim from his/her high.An intimate partner might refer to his previous partner’s perfectly trim gym body with longing,whereas two days before he lovingly caressed the slight love handles of his current partner expressing delight.Or he might ask her to dye her hair another colour. He might talk about another woman who earns more than she does.The son might complain endlessly about what a bad mother she is.
– Discard. He disappears either emotionally or physically. He becomes sullen, and the happy loving man that presented himself in the love bombing phase is nowhere in sight.If the relationship is still new he ghosts her.The victim becomes desperate to go back to the loving phase where she was simply perfect
– Hoover. The cycle begins again.
Since I am discussing women who become involved in priority crimes at the behest of a man, the descriptions I have provided about the son and the intimate partner apply. However, many, many people find themselves in such relationships, and the abusers come from all walks of life. They can be successful in business, do not abuse substances, practice personal hygiene and from the outside looking in, it would seem that these are stable and unchaotic. Such people would not need to ask anyone to become involved in crime since they are financially stable.
The women I am talking about are close to males who do not have money or stability. Because of their overpowering need for the approval from their abusers, they allow themselves to be groomed to commit a crime. Groomed. Now there is a word. Every single abuser in these relationships present with narcissistic or sociopathic characteristics. This means that they are able to read people very quickly (they make brilliant psychologists), and their manipulation skills are honed to perfection. This man will ease the victim into agreeing with him that the employer should become a victim of crime. The woman will forget that there is no such as a victimless crime, and she will tuck her compassion and empathy away so that this man will approve of her. Narcissists and sociopaths have low levels of conscience and empathy,and the laws of the land and common decency do not apply to them.
I have tested in homes where the son of the Domestic Worker has stolen all the jewellery. The mother will pretend to be shocked, but of course she knew it was him. I tested once where an armed robbery had occurred, and the home owners, through their terror, recognised the son of their Domestic Worker, under his balaclava. The Domestic Worker, in such cases, might not have been part of the plan, but she would have sensed that her child cannot be trusted.
In armed robberies where the intimate partner is involved, this lady, against all her morals and ethics, would have provided detailed information so that the heinous plan could go ahead.
In such relationships, gas lighting is the order of the day. Gas lighting means that he/she makes the victim feel as if they are going crazy, and their feeling of sanity begins to slide, and with it, their self-esteem. An example would be that he begins to over discipline the children, to the point of abuse, if not outright abuse. If she protests, he will convince her that she is wrong and he is right.
Why do these women not just leave? Studies have shown that this cycle has the same effect on the brain as heroin. In the hoover stage, the victim is placed back onto the pedestal, and she stays for those moments. In the end, the victim becomes a shell of her former self, living in constant anxiety, waiting for the next devalue, or display of rage. These relationships often seem fuelled by a simmering rage and when it boils over, it is terrifying for the partner, children and pets. Her head space shrinks that she obsessively thinks of him.
Anyone reading this feeling that you are in a relationship like this? Get out as soon as you can. Google the Trauma Bonded or Betrayal Bonded Relationship. Knowledge will be your power. Talking about power, money equals power on Earth. When I found myself in such a relationship with a true life narcissist, my rock bottom was the day he threatened to head butt me on a Friday night. We were living together, and when he came home from work on the Monday night, I was gone with all my furniture. I had the money to rent a cottage, pay deposit, and pay for the removal van. My financial stability was my power. I was able to leave, and I did this without knowing a thing about the Trauma Bonded Relationship.
That love bombing phase? Your abuser is wearing a mask. That is not real. What is real, is the monster that is exposed in the devalue and discard phase. You do not deserve the devaluing and the disappearing act. Even if your abuser does not know the words, Love Bombing, Devalue, Discard, Hoover, he sees you as an object, and uses the cycle with purpose, intent and knowledge to control you.
In my next article, I will write about the high risk employee, where I will discuss the word: Chaos.
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